Tribute to the Talented

It’s his birthday this week, so it’s time to pay a little tribute to the husband and his many talents.

For starters, he keeps developing new talents. He is like a living app for finding bars with huge tap walls and small, independent breweries. A few weeks ago in Pensacola he found Hop Jacks . They had an extensive beer menu which listed the name of the beer, a brief description, the alcohol content, and the state or country of origin. Best descriptions? Michelob Ultra : water, and Bud Light w/lime : water w/lime. I’m sure the derision would be palpable if you dared to order one of those.

Another new talent he’s working on is Belgian Lace Reading. He’s decided there’s a fortune to be told in reading Belgian Lace, the foam residue left on the glass as  you drink your beer. He’s honing his skill at the Saucer while we have a pre-game beer. Really, it should be easy to predict the outcome of an Astros game this season, but he’s trying too hard to predict details of their losses. I’ll let y’all know when he’s ready to hang out his shingle. “Buy me a beer and I’ll tell you your fortune.” Sounds like a good business plan to me.

Then there’s the talents he has that he wished he didn’t have. Like being a darn good wallpaper hanger. Hence the three rooms of wallpaper I bought a few weeks ago. Hence the two-down, one-to-go, perfectly good weekends ruined by the downstairs bathroom project. It’s looking fine, it’s just not finished. I would be happy and proud of my accomplishments if I could paint and wallpaper that nicely. He tends to just be annoyed that I’m asking him to do it at all.

Bringing us to his most endearing talent: he puts up with me. Not that I’m high-maintenance, but I’m also not highly maintaining. Which is kind of like saying we’re a match made at Discount Tire. But, hey, it’s worked out for 27 years. I also happen to think he’s a great father, but then again, I’m not his daughter. Someone once suggested that one way to assess your marriage is to try to imagine raising your children with someone else. Can’t think of anyone I’d rather have tackled that chore with.

Sure, there are those obvious talents, too. Like being really good at what he does for a living. Despite what some people would think of as set-backs (read: layoffs), his positive outlook and self-confidence helped him land on his feet and always in a better place. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have read his career path in the Belgian lace of his college beers, but I’m pretty sure he’s happy with how it has all turned out.

Happy Birthday, Husband! (You are talented enough to realize that this is your present, right?)

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