A few days ago I was attempting to justify (yet) an(other) unfashionable shoe purchase to D#2 who cut me off and said, “Mom, at this point I think you’ve earned the right to not have to explain yourself anymore.” Talk about empowering! Still, I’ve been thinking about why I’ve let this blog lie fallow for so long, and why I should bother to till it up again, and I don’t feel like I have to explain myself, but I want to.
I don’t even remember exactly why I stopped posting, but this post from July reminded me:
I can tell I’m starting to retreat. Books lay around unopened, knitting projects go unfinished, internet reading is minimal, ipad game time is way, way up, errands are going un-run, even this beloved blog felt like a chore this morning. So I’ll fight the urge to go numb to everything happening in the world by at least keeping up with my twitter feed. I wish I was one of those people who could shout from the mountain tops in hopes of making a difference, but sometimes it feels like all I can do is keep my head out of the sand.
And retreat I did. First I blamed Milo, my project dog. He is a great dog when he’s good, but when his seemingly unpredictable aggression flares I have nothing but second, third, and fourth thoughts about our pet. Then I blamed the election of a seemingly unpredictable narcissist to one of the most powerful offices in the world. Still waiting for any good behavior to compare his bad behavior against. But life goes on. And good things and sad things keep happening.
The Tournament-of-Books propelled me out of my reading funk. Reconnecting with some old friends propelled me out of my introvert funk. Deadlines propelled me out of my knitting funk. Habitica propelled me out of my errand and chore avoidance funk. And thinking about a new posting program/schedule for this blog is propelling me to put the fingers to the keyboard again.
The question is often asked, “Why do I write?” Many “real” writers answer, “Because I HAVE to.” I realized I’m not that driven, but I’m OK with that. I realized that I just like to claim that one of my hobbies is writing. So here’s to cultivating a favorite hobby. Thoughts from the Back is thinking again, feel free to think along.